October 2017
My heart is broken
I feel as though I’ve been cheated by life
You left, and just in one night.
I held my hand out, open
And you let go.
I thought if I built a wall high enough
or
A fortress strong enough
That nothing would get though;
But you knocked, and I let you in.
Then suddenly from the inside out
You started tearing it all down.
You peeled apart all the layers
Explored every nook
Every cranny
You took my hand and led me to place in my own mind
That even I had never been.
You led me all the way to my heart…
And then you let go.
I reached out
But you were no longer there.
What was I to do without you?
I wasn’t ready
My heart flicked
Wanting to whisper my truths
But I wanted to ask you what you thought…
But you are gone now.
I want to tell you
That it will be okay
I want to take your hand
To share your load
To bear the weight
That you took from me
To tell you
That I can see
My layers have been shed
And all that was once said
Has been washed away.
I woke up today
Created anew
Yet you…
You didn’t wake up at all.
I cant call
Because you won’t answer
I wish so much
That I could share with you
The new me
That has arisen
Because maybe you to
Could have found a new you;
But all I have is the
Imprint on my soul
That you have left behind
And all I can do
Is take that and run.
~Franchesca Stimming
This is an older piece that I wrote about four years ago now almost to the day. October 2017 was filled with loss for me, and in a way this piece of writing is as much for those who I love who passed over that year as it is for myself. When I started this little blog, I thought I would post only new thoughts, but this somehow still holds something special to me.
Thank you for the prompt: Approaching Samhain from earthweal
https://earthweal.com/2021/10/25/earthweal-weekly-challenge-approaching-samhain/
You write from a place that resonates with me. Such a huge loss changes us, and I like the lines that speak of this and how you have grown – “the new me that has arisen”. So powerful.
Thank you, I feel fortunate that I have been able to find the gifts in the hardship.
They do leave pieces of themselves with us. There is much love in these words.
This poem is so full of grief. All those thing we wish we could say to our lost, all those things we wish we could share. The brief, fragmented lines add to the feel of loss for me. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your words of understanding.
This is so deeply heart-rending and moving! I am sorry for your loss. I am glad to hear a new you has arisen out of the pain of loss.
Thank you. I am glad too!
Loss breaks us and perhaps breaks us open too. A powerful piece of writing.
Yes, I think so…if we let it…thank you.
Vulnerable yet also strong. Time moves both slow and quick, with grief.
Thank you. Yes it can feel so strange at times, the movement of time.